Sunday, April 24, 2011

Turn back the Pendulum For a Moment

One of the other things that I do at home when im bored, home alone, internet down, PSP battery charging, no games for NDS, Oreo is sleeping, bored of guitaring and ran out of comics. I do what everyone do..

Lie down on the bed and THINK!! Yeah, its a stupid thing to do but I was really bored!

Sometime if its on day time, I will go out of the house. Lean on the gate and look up to the sky and THINK! Sometimes my family members find it very creepy.

When I think, i usually wont think about the future cause I want to excite myself and give myself alittle surprise. Another reason is because Im really lazy to think about my future. (actually that is the real reason)

So what I do most of the time is look back to the past. Turn back the pendulum for a moment.

People like to say forget about the pass and all that shyt. But for me, i like to keep my past some where inside my brain. Yeah sometimes I find it very stupid and all to keep my past in my brain. Thinking about it sometimes makes me very emotional. Anger, Sadness, Happiness.. all will start flowing out.

But the reason I kept my past in my head is because I wanna compare myself. I wanna compare with the person that I am 10 years ago, 1 year ago, 1 month ago and even 1 day ago.

I especially like to look at my previous love lifes. How I chase, how i talk, how i react, how I act with the girls that I used to have deep crushes on. (FYI, I dont act really normal infront of the girls that I like. True Story.)

I get goosebumps thinking about the things that I say the girl just to make her like me and stuffs. I feel stupid thinking about the things that I do for the girl just to make her fell for me. I feel useless when I think of being rejected by the girl after all I've done.

I like to think of drama moments too! Those days where I fought with my best friend and how we make it up to each other. Those days where I fought with the girl that I like, childishly. Those days where my parents or my brother and sister fought with me and had a short cold war at home.

But once im done look back at the past I will come back to reality and tell myself.

"Man, Im glad that those days are over."

After think about the sad, emotional, disgusting past and IF im still bored. I'll start thinking of the happy ones!

I will start thinking about all the awesome friends that I've made. All the good stuffs that I've done. All the crazy things that I've done with my other partners in crime. All the things that I've learn. All the wonderful memories that I have shared with people that I've met in this life.

Man, Life is good..

Once im done looking at my past.. I will conclude myself.. I will tell myself. I've grown up.. alittle bit.. or maybe.. alot.. or maybe.. ermm.. i dunno? XP

DONT BE LIKE ME!! Seriously.. if your overly emotional and sensative, you might find this a very very stupid thing to do. XD