Thursday, July 19, 2012

My First: The Apology (Part 4)

If you guys havent read the first 3 parts of the story, I would highly recommend you all to do so. Or else you guys wont really understand the story.. (actually it doesn’t really matter that much. XD)

Part 1: The Confession
Part 2: The Rejection
Part 3: The Flashbacks

So, she was going to leave Taman SEA and change to another high school. I was worried that I was the cause of why she is change to another high school since sooo many things that has been going on between us. But through her friends, she is changing to another high school because its more convenient for her that day. She lives very far away from Taman SEA and its really un-convenient for her to travel for such a long distance..

Since there is just sooo many things going on between us, I really didn’t know how to wish her good bye and ever since the incident, I never did apologize to her for what I did nor did I even talk to her after that incident.. it was really hard for me to just say good bye in such a very sad way..

So, I decided to use the old method.. the way that I have been communicating with her back then when we were in the same tuition together.. Passing papers.

Back then I will always pass her papers during tuition time just to get to talk to her. I was never really good at approaching her and just sit down and talk to her. It was always her that came to me and talked to me. Therefore, passing paper was my ‘brilliant’ idea on how to talk to a girl. She was always sitting infront and I will be usually sitting at the corner bothering my own business.. Now that I think of it, I must be really annoying since I keep passing countless of papers to her, distracting her from concentrating in class. DX XD

My plan was to write a really short apology note for her and pass it to her before her farewell day.. But that time, time was running very short. I was having a hard time finding the right words for the apology letter and I knew the date that she was leaving at the very last minute. Everything was very chaotic and definitely wasn’t going the way that I wanted it to go. In the end, she did receive the letter that I wrote for her but it wasn’t from directly from me.. I didn’t meet up with her personally and pass the letter to her, but I actually passed the letter to her and her friend passed it to her. Not much of a friend’s farewell for me..

Ever since she left Taman SEA, I didn’t really asked her friends anything related to her. And since then, my life in Taman SEA was a little bit different.. Every recess, I couldn’t find anything to do cause usually I will eat and hang out with her. Now that she is not around anymore, there is no meaning behind it anymore. And that time, I was not in the mood to talk to anyone was well cause I was in a very emotional state that. I just wanna be alone for that period of time. And I didn’t her anything from her as well.. well, im not surprise about that part cause after all, I did hurt her feelings.. (and that’s how my forever alone fever starts ever since then. XP)

A couple of months later, one of her friend came up to me and told me that she is coming back to Taman SEA to give us a visit. I was kinda happy to hear that she is actually coming back to visit her friends (like I mentioned before, she is kind and nice) He friend also told me that she is dating a guy in our school. The guy was a friend of mine, not close friend but he is someone who I know and talked before. After hearing it, I was sad again.. Still cant get over her after all the things that I’ve been thru..

So, she came back to school one day to look for her friends.. and I was one of the friends that she wanted to look for. (According to what her friends say) I didn’t know which is the day that she is coming back to visit. And suddenly, she just appeared right infront of me. I was not expecting to see her all in the sudden. I was literally not prepare for anything. Should I apologize? Should I act like nothing happen and say hi? Should I hug her or just shake hands with her or nothing? Of all the choices that I have mentioned above, I choose none of it. Instead, when I saw her I immediately turn my head and walk away. (stupid klex, stupid stupid stupid klex!)

I was still scared and embarrassed of myself from that incident. (im really a hard head am I?) Even know, she took a lot of effort to come all the way back to school just to visit me, I still didn’t want to see her. (pretty stupid aren’t I?) I thought that she shouldn’t see me.. she shouldn’t treat me that nice. She should consider me as a friend at all..

Suddenly, her boyfriend came up to me and talked to me.. At first I didn’t really want to listen to whatever he has to say to me because u know, he is dating someone who I really like. But just to be polite and since he was really a nice guy, I decided to listen to what he has to say. So, both of us sat down at a bench and he told me this..

“I don’t really know what happened between you two. But you know, she has been going all over the school looking for you.. She wanted to apologize to you of what she did. I think you should just at least listen and talk to her.”

When I heard what he said, I was touched.. not entirely because she went all around the school looking for me, but she wanted to apologize to me for something that she didn’t even do wrong. I was the one was being the one who is talking bad behind her back, I was the one who suppose to apologize to her and yet, she wants to apologize to me. There is literally no reason for her to even apologize to me..

At that point, I thanked her bf and head out looking for her. (sounds very dramatic but this is all true) I skipped my after recess just to go around the school looking for her. Hoping that she hasn’t left the school.. Hoping that at least I could give her a like a proper farewell this time.. Finally, after a running for a couple of blocks she found me instead of I found her. We both sat down and talked just like old times.. (I still remember the exact location that we have our conversation)

I apologized to her for what I’ve done.. And I asked her whether we could still be friends.. she smiled and said ‘yes’. The conversation we had felt really really short.. after our conversation she has to go already.. In the end, she gave me a hug and wave good bye and she walked out from the front gate. I then walked back to my class with a relieve smile on my face..

So, what happened to both of us after this incident? Read the next part which is most probably the final part of the whole story. Sorry, for draggin the whole story for too long. XP



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