If you havent read the first part, i suggest you do.. or else you wont quite understand the whole story.. Skip this one blog post and you will find a blog post title "My First: The Confession (Part 1)". Read it and come back to this post later. XP
Okay.. so where are we? Owh right! The confession part.. XP
"Hey, I've been liking you all this while. Would you go out with me? Can you be my girlfriend?"
The moment I said that everyone who was around her was shocked. Yes, i did my very first confession in public. Where all the other students who are at the front gate waiting for their parents to come and fetch them. Almost everyone around us heard my confession.
Her friends are starstruck.. not in a good way.. not in a way like they saw a celebrity that they loved appear infront of their eyes. It was a starstruck like "OMG!!". Some of them had their eyes big widely open. Some of them had the hands on the mouth and some of them have their jaws dropped. But she, she acted normally. She looked like she wasnt surprise at all. But she did smile and said..
"Awww Yu Ming, that is really sweet but im really sorry.."
I remember she said something more than that but i just dont remember. I only remember the words that really matters.. So, yeah.. After all the 3 years of felling in love with her, i finally had my answer and the answer was a 'no'.
Unlike any other rejections, usually the person who get rejected will ask the person who rejected him/her for the reason why did they get rejected. But me? I didnt do anything.. The moment i got my answer, i just put my heads down and walked away.. i didnt even wish her good bye. I just quickly walked away from the scene, trying not to let any one see my ugly face reaction. All the way from the front gate to the back gate, i walked with my heads down. Even when i bumped into my friends, i didnt even bother saying 'hi'. All i want is to quickly get out from there..
Usually I have multiple ways to go home. I can get on the bus, i could call my parents or i could hitch a ride from my friends. But that day was not suitable for any of these.. that day i decided to walk home alone..
Until today, i can clearly remember the road which i walked on the day i got rejected. The walk back home that day was just depressing.. Thru out the whole journey, flashbacks starts running thru my head. All those happy moments that we share, and those comfortable moment that i like spending with her, all the dreams of holding her hands and walk around like happy couples, all are crushed.
I was very lucky. While thinking of depressing thought, i never get hit by car or get rob by some burglar. Cause really, that time i was actually very vulnerable and defend-less. Things became more emotional when the rain starts pouring in and worst of all is that, i was far away from home. No one really saw it but i did shed a couple of tears when the rain poured in. (the tear were all covered up by the rain) I wasnt really crying cause i got rejected, i was crying cause i have the feeling/thought that someone up there knows that im sad and he/she just wants to show how sad they are looking at my that way. (I dunno what im saying here but thats really how i felt that time)
So I continue walking under the rain, reach home, got scold by my dad for walking home under the rain, bath, clean up, had dinner, did my homework and finally move on the sleep it off moment. That night, i couldnt sleep. I took the rejection very hard.. the whole night, i couldnt stop thinking of the confession scene that i just had earlier that day. I couldnt get that off my mind.. but eventually, i manage to sleep it off.
It was actually my very first rejection. And first rejections are always been very painful and its really hard for the one got hurt to climb back up. NO ONE and partically NO ONE can help you get back up except yourself. You gotta learn to accept and forget about him/her. OR this might not happen and this only happens in movie dramas, the other way that you can get back up is having a miracle that the person that rejected you changes his/her mind and wants you to be their wtv. Reality wise, that is not possible. Even if it really happen, things might have already change, you wont feel sincere.. you wont feel like its the same anymore.
Since i took the rejection really hard, it took me a very long long time to get back on my feet. The more i keep thinking about the scene over and over again, the more i got mad. I was extremely immature that time, i couldnt really take rejection and accept it in a mature way. No, i gotta get mad about it, cause a whole lot of drama and f*ck things up.
Ever since the rejection, i never talked to her. Instead i go around talking bad about her behind her back. I went around going rage and all. Her friends tried to come and comfort me but i didnt even listen to them. Instead, i told them how inconsiderate she was.. how she doesnt understand other people's feel, how she doesnt see me as suitable bf. And i remembered very clearly, that i called her a 'bitch'.
Until today, i have no idea what was going on through my head. I seriously have no idea what i was mad about. Even writing this blog post seriously make me feel how stupid and immature i am 6 years ago. What was really going thru my head? What the F*ck what i think!? (Before any of you start to think that im an asshole, do remember that this is story is the me 6 years ago. XP)
Unfortunately, she heard the whole conversation and she had enough.. she head over to me and yelled right at my face. (and i still remember the location that she yelled at me. XP)
"Tan Yu Ming! If you really dont like me then just come say it at my face! Dont you dare pick on my friends and talk bad behind my back."
Then it all hitted me, was everything i did worth it? Did all the talking bad things behind her back really made me happier? Did they make me stronger? Did it solve anything? No, things just got worst. That one yelled woke me up. I was embarrassed.. embarrassed that i talk bad about someone whom i really care for, someone who i like or maybe even loved for 3 long years. In just a few weeks time, i changed into a monster.
I didnt even feel any better at all. Instead of becoming stronger, i become weaker, more immature. And worst of all, i hurt the girl that i've like for 3 years.. I feel horrible..
After that yell, i walked away again.. nothing i say could make it up to her. Nothing i say that could make her smile again.. I quickly walked again and never spoke to her again..
TO BE CONTINUE
END OF PART 2
CLICK HERE FOR PART 3! XD
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
My First: The Confession (Part 1)
The other day me and my cousin are having some conversation and we sudden came to the topic of relationships and stuffs. That topic then lead us to confessing and rejected by girls. I told him the story about my own personal experience and since I never mention that story on this blog before, I decided to share this very special story for mine to you guys too. XP
It all begin in the year 2006, when I was form 2. Second year in high school. A year before this blog was exist. It was the time when friendster was like facebook today.
There was this girl who i start liking way back when i was in standard 6. She is probably one of the reason why i keep asking my parents to send me to Taman SEA. (this is true) She was like any other guy's dream girl. Smart, sweet, pretty, amazing, awesome, friendly, funny and of course popular. Ever since she was standard 6 she has been always popular in the school. Therefore, lots of guys are going after her and i mean ALOT.
I've been pretty close friends with her for about 3 years and when we hit form 2 things just got better and better. We are not really close to the extend that we would call each other or text each other everyday but once in awhile we both will sit down somewhere and talk to each other. In tuition, we will pass paper messages to talk instead of sitting with each other. Ahhh.. those are the times when things felt really really nice and comfortable. X)
Since she is so popular she tends to have a boyfriend once in awhile.. And I have this really funny thinking that if someone has a boyfriend or someone they like, is best not to disturb them cause they are happy and i dont want any conflict to happen. Back then (even until today) i never really wanted to fight for someone i really like. I never stood up and go after her manly like any other guys did. All i did was just sit down and spend as many time as I can with her. And when she has a bf or someone she likes, i will just back off and go emo at a corner without letting her know. (she eventually figured it out cause shes smart. XP)
Now back to the main story, back in the days my high school was pretty well known for its gangsterism. And there was this dude who is kinda gangster (in my opinion) wanted to go after her. Once in awhile I will hear her talking about him and I will see them together. I never really liked that guy even know his older than me, more popular than me or cooler than me. I was afraid that she will really like him and end up dating that guy. I didnt want that to happen. Its not really because i hated him, its because of the bad flirting dumping stories that i heard about him and i dont want her to end up just like them.
I know it was not my place to tell her to not date him.. cause really i know nothing about that guy. All i know is that his one badass guy. So i seek my friend for advice and opinions. Most of her friends knew that I have feelings for her and im very sure she knew that too. (cause again, shes smart. XD) I received alot of advices and most of them sounded something like this..
"If you really like her so much, why dont you go and confess to her? Why dont you give it a shot? You gotta man up alittle bit and just confess to her. Tell her how u really feel. Maybe she will end up dating you instead of that guy? Just give it a shot."
I didnt really like that idea to confess to her and tell her how I feel but i didnt like the idea of going up to her and tell her not to date that guy too. I was lost.. Honestly, that time i really didnt know what to do.. I NEVER confessed to a girl before. Im having troubles even trying to have a decent conversation with her (im very bad in face to face communication when it comes to someone i like.) and to confess to her face to face is probably 100 times more harder. So, I figured i just ignore both ideas and get on with a normal life.
Everything was same as usual until one day, i heard rumors about the guy was going to confess to her. Then it all starting to get into my head. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? So, i decided to do it.. I decided to confess to her and tell her how I feel. That time, I really wasnt thinking straight. There was really no proper well planned thing on to my head. Usually when someone confess they will do something special like bring a flower or present or do it on a special occasion. But that time no, it was a normal day, no flowers, no nothing.. I dont even have a poem to go along with it.
So after school, I immediately ran to the front gate where is she always waiting for her parents there. And there she was, stand and talking happily with her friends. I approach her, interrupted her conversation and asked her to have a moment.. but she didnt want to cause she said she was waiting for her parents and she dont wanna leave her friends alone as well. (I think she knew is coming already) and without hesitation, i took a deep breath, cross my finger and said it..
"Hey, I've been liking you all this while. Would you go out with me? Can you be my girlfriend?"
TO BE CONTINUE
END OF PART 1
*I didnt want to make this blog post really really really long.. so i decided to cut it into two parts. I find that this way it seems more dramatic and enteretaining. Yeah, stay tune for part 2 which im actually writting it right now. XD"
Click HERE to read part 2. XP
It all begin in the year 2006, when I was form 2. Second year in high school. A year before this blog was exist. It was the time when friendster was like facebook today.
There was this girl who i start liking way back when i was in standard 6. She is probably one of the reason why i keep asking my parents to send me to Taman SEA. (this is true) She was like any other guy's dream girl. Smart, sweet, pretty, amazing, awesome, friendly, funny and of course popular. Ever since she was standard 6 she has been always popular in the school. Therefore, lots of guys are going after her and i mean ALOT.
I've been pretty close friends with her for about 3 years and when we hit form 2 things just got better and better. We are not really close to the extend that we would call each other or text each other everyday but once in awhile we both will sit down somewhere and talk to each other. In tuition, we will pass paper messages to talk instead of sitting with each other. Ahhh.. those are the times when things felt really really nice and comfortable. X)
Since she is so popular she tends to have a boyfriend once in awhile.. And I have this really funny thinking that if someone has a boyfriend or someone they like, is best not to disturb them cause they are happy and i dont want any conflict to happen. Back then (even until today) i never really wanted to fight for someone i really like. I never stood up and go after her manly like any other guys did. All i did was just sit down and spend as many time as I can with her. And when she has a bf or someone she likes, i will just back off and go emo at a corner without letting her know. (she eventually figured it out cause shes smart. XP)
Now back to the main story, back in the days my high school was pretty well known for its gangsterism. And there was this dude who is kinda gangster (in my opinion) wanted to go after her. Once in awhile I will hear her talking about him and I will see them together. I never really liked that guy even know his older than me, more popular than me or cooler than me. I was afraid that she will really like him and end up dating that guy. I didnt want that to happen. Its not really because i hated him, its because of the bad flirting dumping stories that i heard about him and i dont want her to end up just like them.
I know it was not my place to tell her to not date him.. cause really i know nothing about that guy. All i know is that his one badass guy. So i seek my friend for advice and opinions. Most of her friends knew that I have feelings for her and im very sure she knew that too. (cause again, shes smart. XD) I received alot of advices and most of them sounded something like this..
"If you really like her so much, why dont you go and confess to her? Why dont you give it a shot? You gotta man up alittle bit and just confess to her. Tell her how u really feel. Maybe she will end up dating you instead of that guy? Just give it a shot."
I didnt really like that idea to confess to her and tell her how I feel but i didnt like the idea of going up to her and tell her not to date that guy too. I was lost.. Honestly, that time i really didnt know what to do.. I NEVER confessed to a girl before. Im having troubles even trying to have a decent conversation with her (im very bad in face to face communication when it comes to someone i like.) and to confess to her face to face is probably 100 times more harder. So, I figured i just ignore both ideas and get on with a normal life.
Everything was same as usual until one day, i heard rumors about the guy was going to confess to her. Then it all starting to get into my head. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? So, i decided to do it.. I decided to confess to her and tell her how I feel. That time, I really wasnt thinking straight. There was really no proper well planned thing on to my head. Usually when someone confess they will do something special like bring a flower or present or do it on a special occasion. But that time no, it was a normal day, no flowers, no nothing.. I dont even have a poem to go along with it.
So after school, I immediately ran to the front gate where is she always waiting for her parents there. And there she was, stand and talking happily with her friends. I approach her, interrupted her conversation and asked her to have a moment.. but she didnt want to cause she said she was waiting for her parents and she dont wanna leave her friends alone as well. (I think she knew is coming already) and without hesitation, i took a deep breath, cross my finger and said it..
"Hey, I've been liking you all this while. Would you go out with me? Can you be my girlfriend?"
TO BE CONTINUE
END OF PART 1
*I didnt want to make this blog post really really really long.. so i decided to cut it into two parts. I find that this way it seems more dramatic and enteretaining. Yeah, stay tune for part 2 which im actually writting it right now. XD"
Click HERE to read part 2. XP
Monday, July 2, 2012
False Hopes
Have you ever have false hopes?
So lets put it in a way that some of you guys might understand what im going thru. XP
There was this ice-cream that you really really want to buy.. it was the perfect ice-cream and the ice-cream that you've ever dream of eating it. You want the ice-cream so badly that you work hard everyday saving up your whole entire savings for that ice-cream. Finally, you get to buy the ice-cream!! YAY~ XD
And since its like a bucket of ice-cream and you wanna enjoy eating it slowly in the future, you decided to keep it in the refrigerator and eat it later on in the future. Waiting for the right time to eat the ice-cream. Every night you will be thinking about that ice-cream in your fridge.. and you cant wait to eat it but sadly your just too busy every single day that you have the time to eat it but its fine cause you are a very patient person and you wanna wait for the really right time to do so.
One day you open the fridge and it gone! Someone else has already ate the whole bucket of ice-cream and left a small part of it for you. Alright thats fine, like i said.. your a very patient person.. you forgive the person who ate almost ALL of YOUR ice-cream..
So u took the last piece of ice-cream and eat it. Yes, finally you get to eat the ice-cream! But still.. it was not as good as you want it to be.. its cause the ice-cream gave u one big false hope.. its cause of everything that is going on around you, you are psychologically not satisfied.. and your sad..
Owh owh owh! Heres another example and this one sounds more suitable or sounds more understandable for you guys. XD
Lets say there was a school filled with 5 to 6 years old kids and you are one of them. The school announce that everyone will get a present if they all are good children. So, you work really hard, study really hard to be a good student in the school. So finally, the school announce and said that everyone has been a good kids so every class with get candy.
And since your 5 or 6 years old.. you are soooo happy! You got a candies!! SWEET!! So your jumping for joy chowing down your candies with all your friends and everyone was happy.. the best part is that you felt like you have achieve something.. you really felt like you are awesome.. you feel like your appreciate..
But wait.. as you look over to the other class room, the children are scream for joy. They all ran around shouting 'free bike! free bike! free bike!' What!? No one told you that there was a chance to get a free bike?? What you know is that you will get a present and thats all you know. Your class got a free candy while some other classes got free bikes.
In the end, your hopes are all crush.. the small little candy that school gave you doesnt mean anything anymore. Its not because its the school's fault not telling u that u get a chance to get a free bike, its just your not good enough or lucky enough or awesome enough to get the free bike. The thought that you are awesome just totally got destroyed and your sad..
Yeah.. so are you guys getting the idea of false hopes? Thats how i've been filling myself with all these while.. hopes that are easily to get crush. Thats basically how i freaking mentally torture myself.. maybe thats why i got so many white hairs.. DX XD
Small little things can make someone happy but sometimes that small little things can crush one's hope..
Owh btw, im having holidays right now! So yeah.. you guys will be seeing little bit more of my blog, non-making sense, emo-ing blog post around.. i hope.. if im not too busy doing house chores at home.. or to be more realistic.. not to lazy. XP
I hope everyone is doing okay right now.. and if there is any of you out there (who i know) who are feeling the same way as I am. I just wanna let you guys know.. i know how you all feel.. and if u guys ever need an ear to hear you guys out, you guys can come and find me. Cause really.. thats what people who have lost their hopes really need.. somone to hear them out. X)
CHEERS~ X)
So lets put it in a way that some of you guys might understand what im going thru. XP
There was this ice-cream that you really really want to buy.. it was the perfect ice-cream and the ice-cream that you've ever dream of eating it. You want the ice-cream so badly that you work hard everyday saving up your whole entire savings for that ice-cream. Finally, you get to buy the ice-cream!! YAY~ XD
And since its like a bucket of ice-cream and you wanna enjoy eating it slowly in the future, you decided to keep it in the refrigerator and eat it later on in the future. Waiting for the right time to eat the ice-cream. Every night you will be thinking about that ice-cream in your fridge.. and you cant wait to eat it but sadly your just too busy every single day that you have the time to eat it but its fine cause you are a very patient person and you wanna wait for the really right time to do so.
One day you open the fridge and it gone! Someone else has already ate the whole bucket of ice-cream and left a small part of it for you. Alright thats fine, like i said.. your a very patient person.. you forgive the person who ate almost ALL of YOUR ice-cream..
So u took the last piece of ice-cream and eat it. Yes, finally you get to eat the ice-cream! But still.. it was not as good as you want it to be.. its cause the ice-cream gave u one big false hope.. its cause of everything that is going on around you, you are psychologically not satisfied.. and your sad..
Owh owh owh! Heres another example and this one sounds more suitable or sounds more understandable for you guys. XD
Lets say there was a school filled with 5 to 6 years old kids and you are one of them. The school announce that everyone will get a present if they all are good children. So, you work really hard, study really hard to be a good student in the school. So finally, the school announce and said that everyone has been a good kids so every class with get candy.
And since your 5 or 6 years old.. you are soooo happy! You got a candies!! SWEET!! So your jumping for joy chowing down your candies with all your friends and everyone was happy.. the best part is that you felt like you have achieve something.. you really felt like you are awesome.. you feel like your appreciate..
But wait.. as you look over to the other class room, the children are scream for joy. They all ran around shouting 'free bike! free bike! free bike!' What!? No one told you that there was a chance to get a free bike?? What you know is that you will get a present and thats all you know. Your class got a free candy while some other classes got free bikes.
In the end, your hopes are all crush.. the small little candy that school gave you doesnt mean anything anymore. Its not because its the school's fault not telling u that u get a chance to get a free bike, its just your not good enough or lucky enough or awesome enough to get the free bike. The thought that you are awesome just totally got destroyed and your sad..
Yeah.. so are you guys getting the idea of false hopes? Thats how i've been filling myself with all these while.. hopes that are easily to get crush. Thats basically how i freaking mentally torture myself.. maybe thats why i got so many white hairs.. DX XD
Small little things can make someone happy but sometimes that small little things can crush one's hope..
Owh btw, im having holidays right now! So yeah.. you guys will be seeing little bit more of my blog, non-making sense, emo-ing blog post around.. i hope.. if im not too busy doing house chores at home.. or to be more realistic.. not to lazy. XP
I hope everyone is doing okay right now.. and if there is any of you out there (who i know) who are feeling the same way as I am. I just wanna let you guys know.. i know how you all feel.. and if u guys ever need an ear to hear you guys out, you guys can come and find me. Cause really.. thats what people who have lost their hopes really need.. somone to hear them out. X)
CHEERS~ X)
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Just a Nice Guy
I know im suppose to be studying and finishing up my works and all.. but i slacked, went on youtube and look at WongFu Production's channel. Then i found this video that is just a little story about me.
I saw this video a very long time ago.. but they re-release it because it was not in their offical youtube channel and it was on another channel. Now they re-release it to celebrate their long 5th anniversary. (congratz WongFu~ XD)
So I hope some of you guys who are free and lifeless, i think you guys should watch this video. Its very well made and the story line is very very true.. X)
Alright, like of course im not as nice as the person acting in this video. Hell, i think i might not be even in the nice guy category. XP
But i think that the love story of this fella is little something like mine (not till the ending of course.) I believe there are many other guys out there who face the same thing. That is probably the main reason why i make this blog post and share this video to you guys. X)
Some other guys or girls out there who are really nice but dont really get to feel any love by someone that they really wanna be with.They are never given the chance or given the luck to do so.. Sometimes, its really complicated to the extend that they really cannot do it. Such as, she/he is just really not into him/her or him/her is just scare of losing or breaking their current frien-relationship. (whoa, i just made a new word. XD)
The worst part about this whole thingy is definately the feeling of knowing that someone that you like and you care about is in love with someone else who really and clearly doesnt really deserve her/him. Again, i totally know how that feels and seriously, i've been there and done that. X)
So maybe to those of you out there, this video might be a little lesson for you, and me. Just watch the video and maybe, just maybe you guys out there may have a little idea on what are you suppose to do in your love life right now. XP
Owh dont really about my love life, seriously.. i dont think its going anywhere.. And where i am right now its not even close at all. X)
Nice guys really does finish last.. Its a pretty true story.. X)
CHEERS~
I saw this video a very long time ago.. but they re-release it because it was not in their offical youtube channel and it was on another channel. Now they re-release it to celebrate their long 5th anniversary. (congratz WongFu~ XD)
So I hope some of you guys who are free and lifeless, i think you guys should watch this video. Its very well made and the story line is very very true.. X)
Just a Nice Guy
Alright, like of course im not as nice as the person acting in this video. Hell, i think i might not be even in the nice guy category. XP
But i think that the love story of this fella is little something like mine (not till the ending of course.) I believe there are many other guys out there who face the same thing. That is probably the main reason why i make this blog post and share this video to you guys. X)
Some other guys or girls out there who are really nice but dont really get to feel any love by someone that they really wanna be with.They are never given the chance or given the luck to do so.. Sometimes, its really complicated to the extend that they really cannot do it. Such as, she/he is just really not into him/her or him/her is just scare of losing or breaking their current frien-relationship. (whoa, i just made a new word. XD)
The worst part about this whole thingy is definately the feeling of knowing that someone that you like and you care about is in love with someone else who really and clearly doesnt really deserve her/him. Again, i totally know how that feels and seriously, i've been there and done that. X)
So maybe to those of you out there, this video might be a little lesson for you, and me. Just watch the video and maybe, just maybe you guys out there may have a little idea on what are you suppose to do in your love life right now. XP
Owh dont really about my love life, seriously.. i dont think its going anywhere.. And where i am right now its not even close at all. X)
Nice guys really does finish last.. Its a pretty true story.. X)
CHEERS~
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Stressed Out Post
Hey guys? How is everyone doing? Its been a WHILE right? Like a freaking long long time.. XP
Im here to blog about pratically nothing.. really there will not be any interesting stories, touching stories, ROFL stories.. No nothing.. this is just a blog post to release my stress.. (and to talk alittle bit of emo stuffs here and there.)
For a past few weeks.. alot of things has been happen.. life at my side honestly.. its not very beautiful. its not all rainbows and butterflies and all. Life and my side.. is pretty damn hard.. and pretty damn depressing.. (thats what i think la..)
When im scrolling around facebook, blogpost or twitter.. looking at other people's post and picture.. all of them looked so happy. Its like their life looked so perfect.. they have pictures of them with their happy family, with their bf and gf, they have pictures with celebrities that they are crazy about..
Sometimes.. Im jealous of people who are having a better life than i am right now.. All of them just seem so happy.. it kinda reminds me of the days when im in college.. where the pictures taken with my friends are always funny.. picture that reminds me of something that you look at and you will still ROFL inside..
Right now? Its a total opposite.. Its like right now, im look at the pictures of the college times me. You get my point here?
Sometimes I tell myself (just to cheer myself up) maybe this is what someone up there wants me to have. Maybe i've been too carefree all this time and its time to take shyts seriously. Or maybe someone up there just wanna punish me for somethings that i've done in my life or in my previous.. etc..
LOL, im getting emotional all in the sudden in the middle of the night.. This is what stressful computer science intensive programming lab task and assignment is doing to you. XD
So my exams is coming in another week later and its going to be like one week exams. 4 days and everything is over. Honestly, i dont like it... yeah its fast and you can feel FREEDOM coming to your way faster but i rather have a long period time for exams. that way i will have more time to study for the subjects. especially the ones that im really really weak at. DX
Kinda regretted reading this long stretch of words that is soooo freaking emo huh? Ehehe.. im promise that after my exams and when sem break comes there will be no more emo post!! For about one week.. XP
Alright i guess thats all for my boring stress out post.
Really, i hope everyone out there is doing waaaay better than i am. yeah, even know i will get jealous and all but still.. its better.. the jealousy will eventually go away. X)
CHEERS~
Im here to blog about pratically nothing.. really there will not be any interesting stories, touching stories, ROFL stories.. No nothing.. this is just a blog post to release my stress.. (and to talk alittle bit of emo stuffs here and there.)
For a past few weeks.. alot of things has been happen.. life at my side honestly.. its not very beautiful. its not all rainbows and butterflies and all. Life and my side.. is pretty damn hard.. and pretty damn depressing.. (thats what i think la..)
When im scrolling around facebook, blogpost or twitter.. looking at other people's post and picture.. all of them looked so happy. Its like their life looked so perfect.. they have pictures of them with their happy family, with their bf and gf, they have pictures with celebrities that they are crazy about..
Sometimes.. Im jealous of people who are having a better life than i am right now.. All of them just seem so happy.. it kinda reminds me of the days when im in college.. where the pictures taken with my friends are always funny.. picture that reminds me of something that you look at and you will still ROFL inside..
Right now? Its a total opposite.. Its like right now, im look at the pictures of the college times me. You get my point here?
Sometimes I tell myself (just to cheer myself up) maybe this is what someone up there wants me to have. Maybe i've been too carefree all this time and its time to take shyts seriously. Or maybe someone up there just wanna punish me for somethings that i've done in my life or in my previous.. etc..
LOL, im getting emotional all in the sudden in the middle of the night.. This is what stressful computer science intensive programming lab task and assignment is doing to you. XD
So my exams is coming in another week later and its going to be like one week exams. 4 days and everything is over. Honestly, i dont like it... yeah its fast and you can feel FREEDOM coming to your way faster but i rather have a long period time for exams. that way i will have more time to study for the subjects. especially the ones that im really really weak at. DX
Kinda regretted reading this long stretch of words that is soooo freaking emo huh? Ehehe.. im promise that after my exams and when sem break comes there will be no more emo post!! For about one week.. XP
Alright i guess thats all for my boring stress out post.
Really, i hope everyone out there is doing waaaay better than i am. yeah, even know i will get jealous and all but still.. its better.. the jealousy will eventually go away. X)
CHEERS~
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