Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Second (Part 4): The Answer

For this blogpost, i will not be mentioning names.. I shall be describing the girl of my first confession as 'first' and then second one (who is the main character of this story) as 'second'. I like to keep things alittle private and mysterious. XP Oh and pre-warned that this is going to be one hell of a long post.. Therefore the entire story will be split into multiple parts (roughly around 5 parts or lesser, depending on my mood)

If you are interested in knowing 'The First Confession' story.. Here is the link for you to start reading from part one. Fear not, the story of the first doesnt have much relation to the second one.. So, not reading the first one is fine. (but of course, it would be better and nicer of you if you were to read it! XD)

The Story of The First: 

For those of you who have missed the first part here the is link to read it! X)

The Second (Part 1): The Meeting & Knowing
The Second (Part 2): The Pathetic Chase
The Second (Part 3): Round 2, Lets Go!

So in the year 2010 I was having my second confession to a girl whom I've been liking for about 3 years (from the time of event) Unlike my first confession, this one was setted up slightly more beautiful.. I was confessing to her during our HELP college's prom night. The place that we're at was was beautiful, the prom night event was pretty beautiful (good enough to be remembered), and of course, she was beautiful.. There would be no other time that would be more beautiful time than that moment, to confess my feelings.

Both of us are just walking around the hotel, looking at the surroundings, talking about this and that.. after that, we walked into a section of the hotel where the setting of the place was beautiful.. There was a grand piano beside us, there were beautiful lightings and pretty exotic pictures around us. Basically, the surround was pretty romantic in my opinion.. The moment we had our little short moment of silence.. I went for it. I took a deep breath, approach her and said "Hey, I just gonna say this.. I've liked you for quite sometime now.. and so, would you be my girlfriend?" 

After one short paused, she gave me a smile and said 'Yes'.. The moment she said 'Yes', there was another short pause which it felt like a long long pause to me. I was hypothetically pinching myself and re-comfrim whether did she actually said the magic word. When I was done and came back to reality, I felt embarrassed and shy.. Actually both of us did. Not a word was spoken, but only embarrassing smiles on our faces. Then, she let me hold her hands, smiled at me for another time and then we both walked back into the prom room together. The moment both of us walked in, all of my friends saw both of us holding hands. They were all surprised but at the same time, very proud of me. All of my bros ran up to me and everyone congratulated and cheered for me.. That was the most beautiful night I've ever experience in my life.. And that you guys, was the story of my second confession.. X)

THE END *snap*

Alright, enough day dreaming and teasing, lets get back to reality shall we? Whatever that was written above would have happen if she said 'yes'. But her real answer was actually 'no..'

The reason was because she was still not ready to be in a relationship yet.. She was still sorta afraid to get into a relationship at that point. She said that she felt that she was still too naive and dont really understand things about relationship. I told her that I will wait for her until she is ready.. Then she told me she didnt really want me to waste my time on her cause things could change over time. Maybe later on, I might not the be person that she likes. In other words, she didnt really develop any true 'like' feelings for me.. just friends feelings.

Now, some of you guys are probably thinking "That is just an excuse for rejecting you la!". But if you actually think about it for awhile and think in a different perspective, its actually a pretty legit and acceptable reason. Besides, no rejection will ever sound nice.. So, as a real man, we just gotta accept the other's opinion, decision and just live on with it.. Which is what I did. After my confession, I could tell that she felt extremely bad for rejecting me.. She was continuously saying sorry.. I told that its okay.. gave her a smile and walked her back to the prom room. The entire journey back to the room was quiet...

So, after that short drama.. I head towards the performers changing room, sat down and think about what just happen. I was not extremely depressed yet as what just happen didnt really hit me, yet.. After sitting down for awhile, Max (a very good college friend of mine) came into the room looking for me cause i need to head to stage to get a reward as a fund raiser for the social sphere. He noticed that I was feeling a little bit depressed that moment.. Since he was the first person to ask, I told him what just happen..

After telling Max what happen, he gave me a path at the back, some works of encouragement and we both get ourselves ready to head up the stage and claim our reward as a fundraiser team for the prom night. While I was on stage collecting my reward, I look down towards the crowd and to the table where 'second' was sitting.. she was not there anymore. I guess she have left the prom night already.. When I realize that, it hit me.. depressing emotions starts flowing in.. and begin the emo nemo yuming.. ( Just to clarify, no, i didnt not cry on the stage.. nor after i went down the stage.. basically, i just didnt cry la. DX)

That night, everyone who slept over in the hotel that the prom night was held had an after prom night party. It would be great if i know how to drink during that time.. For all i know people usually drink when they are depressed after a rejection right? I thought that, if i knew how to drink, i would drink and try and wash away all those depressed feelings that I had inside.. But since I dont drink at all, I just turn in myself early.. I wouldn't want to disrupt the fun that everyone is having by listening to my sad rejection.. So, I head to bed straight while everyone else was having a great after prom night party..

Now, just like what happen to me and 'first' after my huge confession fail, I had a distance with 'second'. In a way, I thought that it would be a good way to remove the feelings I have with her for the period of time.. Thinking that I would probably go back and talk to her once im done removing the feelings towards her and moved on.

It was alittle bit difficult to keep a distance from her as both of us are in the same college. Plus, HELP is not really a big college at all. We are bound to bump into each other.. Usually I would dump my friends and spend time talking to her instead. But after that rejection, to keep our distance, I would just say hi and hang out with my friends. Basically, it was the awkward distance period for the both of us.. at least, it feels awkward for me but i dunno whether it feels different or awkward for her.. until i found a blog post written in her blog.

Now, lemme get something straight.. I have been bloggin for about 6 years now (up till today) and never had I have someone wrote one blog post just dedicated for me.. NEVER. And she was the very first girl who wrote a blog post which the main topic some what is about me.. (i think..) The blog post title is called '习惯' , translation, that means 'used to' or 'habit' or 'be accustom to'. (this is kind of a direct translation. XP) Basically, what she wrote was the things about me that she has grew accustom to all this time.. Like everytime I see her, i will pat her on the head, dump my friends and talk to her, and always start of our conversation with 'hows your day'. I never knew how much of a friend am I to her really until I read that post..

After reading the blog post that she wrote, i realized how important of a friend am I to her. When the 'distance' period happen between me and 'first', i never really knew how did 'first' felt about me.. like how important am I to her and all (until the aftermath of our story. XP) which lead to a misunderstanding between me and her.. hence, causing the drama of the 'first confession' story. 'Second' was different.. in the blog post she sorta clarify things out to avoid misunderstanding between both of us.. she was in a way writing a message to me that she didnt want me to felt that i was been 'used' all this time and she appreciate all the things that I've done to her all these time.. Those line woke me up alittle bit and touched me alittle bit inside. XP

Besides, keeping this 'distance thingy' is probably not gonna work out for me and her. Who knows, things might turn out to like what happen to 'first'? I would never want that to happen again.. More importantly, I have already planned on leaving HELP college and head over to different other universities to pursue my studies (as HELP doesnt offer game designing courses). Which means, it would be a waste of time if i keep the distance thingy going on with 'second'.. I should spend more time with her creating a couple more good memorable memories with her for our one last semester together instead..

The next day, when the moment I saw her, I head towards her and gave her a pat on the head and talk to her like we always do again. Everything felt nice once again. X)

Now, the story is not over yet.. We are sorta half way through the entire story.. But from here on, im going to drift away alittle bit from the main story.. Its still connected to 'second' in some way and its sorta the part of the story but it doesnt really involve 'second' for this short part of the story.. Just continue reading on you guys will understand what im saying.. XP

So, from what I've heard and witness myself.. another way to remove your feelings your have from someone is to look for another someone to replace it. Some people say that this phase is the infamous 'rebound' period. Now, I thought that my feelings for 'second' was pretty deep to the extend that no one would probably replace her place for quite sometime.. That is until I got close to Amy..


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